April 2015 – Cars Break

2015 M235i: The Not-So-Little Engine That Can

Pigmy Rocketship. This car officially has a new name. It’s BMW everclear, distilled and crushed up into a powder, snorted through a $10 bill, or taken orally via capsules, your choice. This car really is everything fun about BMW wrapped up in the (surprisingly) most affordable car they sell.

I will admit the badging goes way too far. I wish they would just call it the M2 and be done, but for some reason in Munich if it’s not a real M car, they need to compensate with “this car brought to you by the letter M” and slap in every corner possible. Hubs, steering wheel, front, back, doors, seats, everything has an M on it. Even more M’s than an . . . M car. But 4.3 to 60 mph makes you forget all that. For less than $45k.

And look how practical! You can park it anywhere, and it’ll get 32mpg on the freeway! Plus it looks WAY better than the old 1-series it replaces. That old dog was kinda fugly.

One interesting thing you can do with a 235i that you *can’t do with the other M cars is a brake-stand. I guess they weren’t as careful with the traction control system (of course switched off) on the 235i, but just put your foot 1/3 way down on the brake, hit the gas, and boom you’ve got a 2-tire fire. She’s real pretty in blue, too:

I drove the automatic with paddle shifters and although I’d really rather throw my own gears it was pretty responsive. Shifts aren’t lighting-quick 911 fast, but it’s enough. It’s as much as you can expect out of a true auto-trans and not a dual clutch setup.

If you don’t mind 2 doors and eety beety living space this is a great commuter or weekend track-day toy.

2014 Camaro RS Convertible: Cheap Thrills

This is a fun one. Not terribly fast, and not as fast as you’d think it would be claiming 300hp, but a jolly good time. A 335i has the same hp rating from the factory but that thing can pull a 5.2 0-60 time. The best you’ll ever see out of one of these is about 6 seconds. For those who are into numbers like that, you know there’s an enormous difference in feel between 5 and 6 seconds to 60. It’s a line in the sand between edging on true performance vs light recreation.

What I liked most about this bang-for-budget ride was the exhaust note. It was satisfyingly raspy and seemed to grow twice as loud above 4000 rpm. I was stuck with the automatic but it didn’t hesitate too much when you romped on the throttle.

My wife and I drove with the top down and the heater on full-blast down highway 1 to Santa Monica in November on a brisk night. Highly recommended. Hard to have that much fun in anything else for the money. Also driving by a group of kids and hearing one say “hey!! that’s bumblebee!!” as another retorts “no it’s not” and finally another – “yeah huh! totally bumblebee!” is some good stuff.

2014 BMW 328d: Holy Gas Mileage Batman

Love the torque – an expected opening remark. Some surprisingly don’t love the torque. I took my wife for a ride and the acceleration about did her stomach in.

328d

What BMW enthusiasts will notice about this 3-series diesel is that it’s not a 335d. I think BMW chose to make this a 4-cylinder car to appeal to mileage nazis. And that it does. With an EPA-claimed 45mpg the 328d is about as fuel-efficient as they come without losing a wheel or adding an electric motor. That mpg number bumps up maximum range to 575 miles!

Throttle response is pretty sloshy down low and not much really happens when you put the car into “sport” mode. Might do away with that feature altogether as shift points are varying and low almost all of the time. The closest I ever got to the 5.5k rpm redline was just a hair under 5000.

Some of the niceties are standard with all the new 3 series: 8-speed auto, standard radio is pretty good with dual subwoofers standard, 50-50 weight distribution, comfortable seats, and outstanding brakes. F30 is the name of this chassis and since its debut in 2012 they’ve switched over to electric steering on all these compact sedans. They say it was for the ladies, I say yuck. Yes, it’s effortless to steer, but it’s also feedback-less and kind of feels like you’re behind the wheel of a minivan. I much prefer my 2011 E90’s hydraulic and heavy, albeit full-of-feel maneuvering.